Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers - You Don't Know How It Feels

The one time I was able to see Tom Petty live was a great experience. No fancy stage antics, nothing flashy, the band just played great song after great song, and performed them perfectly. Despite being a man of numbers, I did not count the number of tracks played that night, but it must have been at least twenty. Every song they played was familiar as to me as household words, and not just because I was a fan who owned several Tom Petty albums, rather all the songs they played were radio mainstays. It was one of those times when a band has so many great songs you start to forget about some of them, or at least, in my case, just how consistent the quality of work Petty managed to maintain through out his song writing career.

My best friend of may decades also happened to see this same Tom Petty concert, and though we happened to see this show independently of one another we had effectively identical experiences. Now so many years later, and with Mr. Petty having passed away some time ago, the two of us reminisced about that single time we managed to see Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker’s live. From there we discussed the insanely impressive playlist we were both experienced. While we listened to the songs we remembered from that live show in Calgary, our conversation led us to the nearly impossible task of deciding for ourselves our favorite Tom Petty songs.

If not my favorite, then at least one of my favorites, Tom Petty songs is “You Don’t Know How It Feels.”

What I saw in interviews, and sometimes tv shows and movies, Tom Petty’s demeanour was always chill. A calm everyday dude who happened to be one of the very best song writers of his generation, no big deal right? They can just bang out twenty classics in an evening without second thought. Nonetheless, Petty’s attitude was always down to earth, he came across like an everyman. His lyrics are not so different insofar that the narration of the song comes from an everyman. Either we can all relate to Tom Petty’s songs, or we relate to the perspective Petty offers while describing something less so relatable. This talent of speaking to the minds and hearts of common people is impressively and insightfully present in “You Don’t Know How It Feels.”

The chorus:

“But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint.
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud.
And you don't know how it feels,
You don't know how it feels to be me.”

First off, since before legalization, this song was always a casual reminder that “hey let’s smoke another joint,” so I have always enjoyed that ultimately unimportant aspect of this song.

Second off, the song title and the use of that simple sentence in the chorus works wonderfully well, because something I said aloud to my friend (just as much to myself) after smoking yet another joint was something to the affect of; “that’s how I feel, no one knows how it feels to be me. But here is the thing, amazingly, everyone feels that way; all the time.” My friend exclaimed that was the genius of the song, and we both may have felt this was rather profound when you pause to take it in. Everyone feels the same way, the same way as in different. Everyone is different so everyone must struggle with not being understood all the time, forever. Individuality is universal.

At this point, this Monty Python joke feels appropriate: 

It is not so bleak as that; empathy and communication exist (no really, they do), which is why the upbeat, mellow song about personal feelings, is relatable to all. I have a hard time believing this perfect delivery is serendipitous, after all how many perfect, or near perfect, songs did Tom Petty write? At least twenty or more.

In conclusion, “You Don’t Know How It Feels” is a song with an understated message, but everyone already knew that, or at least everyone already felt it, even if only few of us spared the time, and a joint, to explore that seeming contradiction, everyone is the relates to be being different, ergo, everyone should have similar feelings about this song. Managing that on purpose in the creative process takes serious skill, and Tom Petty’s song writing is also understated. Greatest before our eyes, always appreciated, but not necessarily fully appreciated.

- King of Braves