Pearl Jam - Better Man

In the nineties the world experienced a sudden outpour of new music from Seattle, Washington. Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains, were all getting radio play, and were becoming massively popular. These three bands were instrumental in the creation of the subgenre of “alternative rock.” This was all happening during some of my most informative years, and the importance of these three bands is well remembered by me. The impact of their presence is well documented in my memories.

At the time there was a rivalry between Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Kurt Cobain for reasons I never fully understood hated Pearl Jam. This created a cultural rift between their fans. Sides were taken, and war was declared. It was unofficially confirmed you could like one or the other, but never both.

This was a big deal. Here is a charming video of Arcade Fire’s Win Butler discussing this feud with his wife and band mate Regine Chassagne, how she could choose only one, Nirvana or Pearl Jam:

What is the resolution? Well for Win and Regine, despite Win’s insistence you can only choose one, they both, like them both; this is the reality for most people now. More than enough time has passed for everyone to realize there was never a dichotomy, we could enjoy both. The common census is that both bands were amazing.

Not me though. I am different. I choose Pearl Jam.

Maybe the impression this moment in time and my feelings about the situation has left a lasting impact on me, but once I chose Pearl Jam, I stuck to it.

I never liked Nirvana, primarily because I never liked Kurt Cobain, whom always came across to me as an ungrateful brat. I have always believed that if Layne Staley had killed himself back then, we would be talking about how great Alice in Chains were instead of Nirvana right now. However, after all this time I have come to realize there is nothing preventing us from appreciating all three bands, and whatever feud Cobain started never mattered. My dislike for Nirvana now feels more like a over zealous reaction out of loyalty to Pearl Jam more than anything else, and I can now appreciate the positive aspects of Nirvana and how they inspired so many others. However, nonetheless, Nirvana never really grew on me, unlike Pearl Jam.

I consider Pearl Jam to be one of the greatest rock bands of the nineties, if not number one. I hold them in very high esteem. I went through the same introduction phase as everyone else did back then. The album Ten came out and it was great, everyone enjoyed “Alive” and “Jeremy,” then Vitalogy came out three years later and with it their biggest hit song “Better Man.”

“Better Man” is not my favorite Pearl Jam song, in fact it is not even my favorite song from the album Vitalogy, I always really like “Nothingman” and “Immortality,” however “Better Man” is the first song I think of when I think of Pearl Jam. It has not happened very often in my life where I was just as impressed and happy with a hit song as the general public, and “Better Man” is one of the few times were the charts and I were in full agreement. It was a perfect song for radio play and personal listening, it met all criteria to impress. The popularity of “Better Man” is unrivaled in Pearl Jam’s discography. For some reason I vividly remember Pearl Jam playing a slightly modified version of “Better Man” to David Letterman on his show during his birthday. The song was a huge cultural phenomenon.

Another reason I like “Better Man” is that I can sing it respectably well, and I have successfully impressed strangers at karaoke on two separate occasions by singing it. So that is fun.

There are countless love songs in existence, unavoidably many, if no most, tread upon identical grounds, but few explore the sort of relationship depicted in “Better Man.” It is a complacent relationship, where the woman is largely disinterested but finds herself staying because;

“She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man.”

There is more to it than just that, there is an expression of loyalty, or at least consideration.

“She loved him, yeah, she don't want to leave this way.”

This is a curious study of human relationships, in my younger years I found it interesting.

I hold the belief that “Better Man” falls into the category of music that is about something sad but is performed with a positive expression. The scenario at hand is rather bleak, “she dreams in color” but her reality is loveless and colourless, but worse still, she is the beholder of the feelings of shame and guilt because she cannot find a better man, so she sadly stays. However, the melody and mood of the song is not so dark, but rather energetic. Like I said before “Better Man” delivers on multiple fronts, and it is enjoyable in so many ways as to end up being loved by virtually everybody… except maybe that Kurt Cobain guy… no wonder I did not like him very much.

Part of growing older is being surprised at how much has passed through the aging of media. I remember vividly “Better Man” playing on the radio, and now it is a classic rock song. Twenty-two years have passed. I was thirteen when this song came out. My peers let it sink in, along with every meme reminding you that your childhood is now a long time ago but take joy in knowing the lasting effect and timeless nature of your nostalgia has held up.

- King of Braves